Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am weak;
O Lord, heal me, for my bones are troubled.
LORD, HAVE MERCY
I keep saying I’m sorry
Repenting again and again
Signing the contracts
Making promises from my lips
I try to turn away, do what is right
But somehow it always goes wrong
Shame enters my heart, my soul
And I dare not ask
Mercy! I’ve cried over and over
Aren’t You tired of hearing my plea?
Why aren’t You tired of me?
Like everyone else
I’m surprised You are still by my side
It seems everyone else has given up
They don’t want to hear my groans anymore
Why, Lord, why do You stand at the door?
It seems so disrespectful to ask
Like a lie whispered I want to hide
But I wonder oh Lord, if
Just one more time
Would You have mercy upon me
Help me once more
Show me the depth of Your love
Cause I can’t, cannot, do this alone
Hey Jesus? I know I don’t deserve it
I can’t even earn it
But I am in need desperately
Lord, would You, could You, please
Just one more time
Shower grace upon me?
©25, August 2019
I’ve struggled with whether or not to share this poem. It’s quite personal and a bit more transparent than I feel ready to give. But God urges me to share it. Maybe someone else is feeling the same way?
We know God freely gives His grace and mercy to us. When we confess our sins, He is ready, willing, and able to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. When we repent, our lives are made new again. Over and over.
So why do I feel so unworthy to even ask for His mercy even one more time?
I can so relate to David through this Psalm. As my body seems to be falling apart, I am made more aware of how much of it is my own fault. As God has prodded me over and over to do things differently, to make changes, I have hardened my heart to Him and decided to go my own way.
It is a hard thing to admit to. Maybe too transparent?
But, wasn’t David just as transparent in his writings? Psalm 6 is sad as he laments his longing to do what is right and to be the man God wants him to be. He even asks God to defend him against his enemies.
While I don’t have Saul chasing me down or others wanting to kill me—that I know of—I do have a roaring lion on the attack. Ready to devour me in any way he can (1 Peter 5:8). My enemies are my own thoughts and my own actions as well. When I give in to my own wants and desires, I have now allowed my enemies to get the better of me.
Throughout the book of Psalms we get to glimpse David’s heart. David seeks God morning, noon, and night, especially when he is in turmoil over sin in his life.
And as he cries out to God for help —yet again—God was right there to help him and give him the grace and mercy David was looking for.
He does the same for you and me. Though I know my body will show me the consequences of my decisions, I also know God has forgiven me and He is ready to help me make the choices I need to make to honor and please Him.
Is there an area in your life you keep taking to God? Is there a desperateness in your soul for mercy and freedom?
Like David, we can have that freedom if we will only give it to the Lord in repentance.
From My Heart to Yours,
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