shall know that the Lord does not save with sword and spear; for the battle is the Lord’s,
and He will give you into our hands.”
© Karen L. Murphy Photography, 2013
VS. ME…ME VS. GOLIATH
time when the whole world seems to have crashed around us and no one
understands the deep anguish and pain that accompany this. They think we have completely lost all sense
of self and some of them don’t want to have anything to do with you while you
work through it all. While others are so kind to be there to hold you, cry with
you, listen to you (even when you’ve talked about it every single time you have
opened your mouth around them).
through these times because that is when all you have is yourself and God to
handle it. Sure, your friends and family can give advice and listen, but
ultimately, you realize you have to find the answers yourself.
He demands your attention and your time. He demands you deal with him each and
every hour until you can no more get up and do what is required of you than you
can take your next breath. The beating of your heart feels ten times heavier
from the way it did a minute ago because with each passing moment, each passing
thought, each passing tear, your heart burns like a paper cut just a little
more and a little more, until one day it is underneath Goliath’s feet and he is
laughing and stomping on it and mocking you. Your soul becomes bare and numb
and you can’t even form a single thought.
Every prayer you pray feels empty as if it has just hit the ceiling and
bounced back down shattering at your feet. You stare at it not knowing whether
to sweep it up and try to put it back together or to let it lay there in a
puddle. After awhile, you get tired of listening to Goliath taunt you with his
fangs baring, dripping words of self loathing and incrimination so you go and
find some armor to shield yourself from every evil vowel that is spilled out.
The armor works for a while and even though it is so heavy and cumbersome, you
wear it anyway, thinking that if you wear it long enough it will get easier and
lighter. But one day you look around, you look down, you realize . . . no, this
is not working. This is too much and you cannot take another single minute of
feeling all of this disgusting, rotten circumstance. Getting up, you take off
the armor feeling quite naked in its absence and you begin to put one foot in
front of the other. Left . . . right. Left . . . right. And then you see it.
Sitting there. Shiny and new. Just for you. A rock. No, not a rock. A stone.
Smooth, flat. Perfect. You fashion a sling and
instead of walking you run . . . as fast as you can and with the biggest
steps your body will allow. To the point
of gasping for the last breath you can muster and there you are, standing just
feet from Goliath. He bares his evil grin and looks at you with delight as he
smacks his lips for the meal he’s about to devour. He thinks he’s won. That he
has absolutely beaten you down to nothingness and you will not fight anymore.
But little does he understand, you have new strength. You have found the One
that will bring you out of this horrible, stinking, dark abyss. Slowly you put
the stone in the sling, raise it above your head and begin to wind it up.
Faster, faster and then that stone flies through the air, it arches and the
next thing you know, it has hit that Goliath right in the forehead and you
watch with tear-soaked cheeks as he hits the ground with such force the earth
quakes all around you. You look up and see Him in the most transparent blue sky
you have ever set eyes on smiling and letting you know He’s been with you the
whole time. Bravely, boldly you march up to that Goliath, you chop off his head
and you toss it as far as you can because you know. You KNOW! This is it. You
are ready to move on and make peace with yourself. To dream anew. To take new baby
steps toward a future you may still be so unsure about but you know that you
are not alone in going into the unknown. This wasn’t a death sentence. This
wasn’t the end of being. This, THIS was a time to grow and find who you really
are and who you want to be and what you want to be. Never mind that they didn’t
understand. It wasn’t for them to understand. It was for you and you alone with
God to go and face the giant in your life and win the battle . . . ONCE AND FOR
has asked you to be
anyone tell you otherwise
to them . . . It is up to you
dream . . .
Dream big and succeed!
this why not go and read about David’s battle with Goliath in 1 Samuel 17. It’s
one fantastic story! No matter how big
or small your circumstance, how insignificant you may feel, no matter if you
feel like you are big enough or not to
defeat Goliath, look to God to fight the battle for you. He will give you the
tools you need to go against your Goliath and with the faith of even a mustard
seed, you will win with God on your side. God loves you and He is longing to
help you through whatever trial you are facing today.
© Marcie Bridges, Heart Thoughts, 2013