I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands,
and I would not be comforted.
I remembered you, God, and I groaned;
I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.
You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;
I remembered my songs in the night.
My heart meditated and my spirit asked:
Psalm 77:1-6 (NIV)
Today feels like too much
Tomorrow too little
Think I’ll just put my head
Under my pillow.
Cry it all out
Just lie down and cry
I’ll feel better tomorrow
After I die
To myself and my mess
Breathing Jesus instead
Finding in Him my rest.
Fixing my eyes on Jesus
The warrior is a child
My shield of faith
has become my ultimate guide.
Now unto Him who will do more
Nothing less, I face this day
In prayer, grace and faith.
6, April 2016
The girls were in school, Mark at work, and I was laying face down on the carpet crying my eyes out.
I didn’t know if God was hearing me, if my cries of help were even reaching the ceiling, but I spent several hours just begging Him to either take my life or fix what was broken.
Fourteen years ago today, that was my reality. Yet, I had forgotten one thing:
The faithfulness of my God.
In Psalm 77, Asaph (the writer of this poem) spends much of it reminding God of His faithfulness to His people, Israel. He recounts the troubles of Israel as well as the times they were outright disobedient to God. Then when Asaph finishes remembering those stories, he then recalls how God was faithful to them and helped them through those times.
When we cry out to God, we definitely have His ear. He leans down — inclines His ear — and listens closely to us. As I waited over the past couple of months for a miracle I didn’t know if I would receive or not, I found myself reminding God of all the times He has been faithful to me. And as I recounted His faithfulness, my countenance would change and I would find peace within my heart.
I like the way The Message translates these verses (they sound so similar to how I felt that day):
“I yell out to my God, I yell with all my might,
I yell at the top of my lungs. He listens.
I found myself in trouble and went looking for my Lord;
my life was an open wound that wouldn’t heal.
When friends said, “Everything will turn out all right,”
I didn’t believe a word they said.
I remember God—and shake my head.
I bow my head—then wring my hands.
I’m awake all night—not a wink of sleep;
I can’t even say what’s bothering me.
I go over the days one by one,
I ponder the years gone by.
I strum my lute all through the night,
wondering how to get my life together.”
In 2006 God granted my pleas to Him and He did fix my situation. It was not at all in the manner I thought He would do it. In fact, His use of a car accident was not at all on my calendar. But trust me, God can use anything He wishes to bring about miracles and the good He promises. (I mean, He used a talking donkey to get Balaam’s attention*).
Yet this is one of the many stories in my own life I like to recall when I’m in distress and need to remember the faithfulness of God to me.
Are you in a distressful situation? Are you waiting on a miracle? While you are in God’s waiting room, find some time to recall the occasions God has been faithful to you. When you do, remember to thank Him for each one and let His peace pass over you.
From My Heart to Yours,
*Balaam’s story is in Numbers 22-24. You can find this specific story in Numbers 22:22-40.